Before I was overtaken by illness that rendered me useless for 2 days, Stuart and I had gone out on a date to enjoy the BeeGees/Neil Diamond concert here in town. As we walked into the theatre, I made a snarky comment to Stuart that we were the youngest people there, and that I hoped the older folks in attendance were able to last out the show. Ironically, we ended up leaving about half way through the second act. As we sheepishly snuck out the side door, we were ushered out by an older gentleman with a flashlight. I felt the need to tell him “we have a baby waiting at home for us” instead of “to be honest Sir, we’re just too tired to stay any longer.” This was at approximately 10:00 p.m. I guess this time, the last laugh was on us.

You hum the plink-plunky melody of your child’s favorite wind up toy in the grocery store line-up.

Your idea of a fun outing includes going for milk at the local corner store, and a stop at the Instant Teller.

A late night for you is 10:00 p.m.

When you reach your hand into the bedside table to find your hand lotion, all you can find is diaper rash cream.

You only have 3 loads of laundry to do today!

You haven’t been to the movies in over a year, and cannot remember the last movie you even watched.

Every book you have read in this past year has chapters including: sleep, feeding and nutrition, growth and development and learning.

You have no problem smelling someone else’s bottom.

The channel you watch most is Treehouse T.V.

You long to drive a mini-van.

You have a cupboard in your kitchen that is entirely full of tupperware, and easily accessible to any person under 3 feet tall.

Your relaxing bath ritual has been replaced by bathing your toddler, who delights in splashing so much water on you, that you need to change your clothes afterwards.

At any given moment, the CD in you stereo might be a)David Bowie b)Sharon, Lois and Bram or c)Broken

There is nothing breakable within 3 feet of the ground in every room in your home.

And…

You *definitely* know you’re a parent when every time you hear your child say “Mama,” it is the best feeling in the world

They say timing is everything, and indeed, “they” are right! This morning, I was up extra early, as I knew my son and I had activities to attend, and I wanted to get a shower before my husband left for work. Being careful not to wake our sleeping son, I headed for the bathroom, and switched on the radio.

As I listened for the local forecast, the announcer mentioned an upcoming contest to win tickets to a BeeGees Tribute concert at the local River Run Centre for the Performing Arts. Although it is a fun genre of music, I am not a *huge* disco fan, however the prize package also included a Gift Certificate for a local arts-crafts-fabric shop, which really got my attention! When they played the music clip, I was instantly able to identify the song, so I turned off the running water, grabbed my towel, and dashed for the phone, trying to remember the number of the radio station.

I dialed the number, and the phone started ringing. I was told I was the first caller to get through, and to hang on the line…when moments later I correctly identified the song, I was told that I could come in anytime to pick up my prize! How exciting!

So, it looks like February 11th, we’ll be donning our dancing shoes and “Stayin Alive.” That is of course, assuming we can find a sitter I’m not sure that Stuart’s really the disco type either, but it does bring to mind our first real date in University, when I was offered a ticket to accompany him to the ABBA cover band Bjorn Again! I guess he was willing to “Take a Chance on Me!”

After dinner tonight, Liam was a bit on the fussy side. I suggested to my husband that he put on some music, as Liam might enjoy some “dancing” time. I am still not sure if what he does constitutes dancing, but I guess for a little one his age it is as close as you can get.

I came into the livingroom, and found Stuart sitting on the floor bopping along to the rhythm of the Beatles “Octopus’ Garden,” while Liam, flailing his arms, and doing deep knee bends, while turning in circles, made sure to stay close to the stereo. As fourteen-month-olds go, I think ours is a pretty good dancer…move over Elaine Benes!

A few years ago on Valentine’s Day, my romantic husband decided to surprise me by taking me to the Wings of Paradise Butterfly Conservatory in Cambridge. It was only a short trip from our home, and we had never gone there before, so I welcomed what I thought was going to be a very romantic outing with my sweetheart. Little did I know that not only would my Valentine’s Day be unromantic, it was downright terrifying.

When I tell people now that I am afraid of butterflies, they first smirk in disbelief, and when I don’t smile back at them, they look very puzzled indeed. Yes, my little secret is out of the bag. I am not sure when this strange phobia began, although I blame my Dad at least in part. He fabricated these elaborate stories of giant moths “flap, flap, flap” whenever my Mom or I was too afraid to swat a moth that had come into our home in search of a light to flutter around. These stories scared the heck out of me as a youngster, and reminiscing about them even now gives me the willies!

So, there I was at Wings of Paradise, camera in tow, hand-in-hand with my Valentine, and ready to take some beautiful snapshots as a reminder of our special day together. From a distance, I must admit that the butterflys were quite beautiful, but when they got close enough for me to actually see their giant wings, I hid behind Stuart in fear. I am told that one of these enormous creatures actually landed on my back. Had I known this at the time (or worse, seen it for myself) I’m sure I would have run from the place, screaming in hysterics! As it was, our afternoon was spend with me ducking at each passing insect, and getting strange looks from the other guests at the Conservatory who watched the winged creatures in awe.

Alas, I know many of you are laughing at my strange neurosis. Apparently, Nicole Kidman, popular movie star and internationally known talent, also suffers from the same strange affliction. I’m sure Ms. Kidman would agree, “give us snakes or heights any day…”

So, there you have it. I won’t be venturing back into that scary situation any time soon. By the way, I’d also like to mention that my Brother-in-Law is afraid of squirrels…but that’s another story!